"Should we have done more?"
The most profound line spoken in the brilliant Netflix series - Adolescence.
This is the most essential call to arms for parents and carers of young people.
Everyone is talking about the superb acting and the wonderful performances, (which they are) – however the most important message that comes through:
The VITAL NECESSITY of parents building strong relationships with young people.
The relationship parents or carers have with young people will determine the quality of their mental health and emotional wellbeing.
It’s too easy to blame the toxicity of social media, which we know is real. What too few parents and carers are doing is standing back and asking, “what can we do?”
Yes, social media is dreadful, however the lack of meaningful connection from our families is far worse.
Long work hours, a lack of genuine, deep connection and no role-models – this is what’s causing the problems for young people’s mental health.
The long working hours cultures stop us taking time to connect with our families, and the shallow, dopamine inducing click bait fills the void. Leading to poor mental health and superficial relationships that do not provide the emotional nourishment that children and young people need.
When we at LOHA talk to young people, they tell us how lonely they feel in their families, how all the focus is often about schools and exams, and often they don’t feel heard.
Young people need to feel valued, cared for and respected.
These fundamental requirements for emotional development set the base on which they can develop healthy relationships with their peers. It grows their confidence and self-esteem, which leads to more resilient individuals.
At the same time, it encourages autonomy, curiosity and calculated risk taking, and these are individuals who are prepared to fail, but know they can go again, and eventually succeed.
Young people need parents and carers who they can rely on and in whom they can trust. Parents and carers who can teach them how to connect meaningfully, and the importance of values and integrity, especially in a society where truth and honesty is no longer cherished.
It takes just one caring and reliable adult for each young person, and they will learn to grow and flourish.
Stephen Graham's character talks about the brutality of the relationship he had with his father. The beatings - him wanting to do things differently - which he commendably achieved but still he couldn't connect emotionally with his own son, he had rages and tried to make him do sport, to toughen him up.
At LOHA we know the power of parents and carers building high quality relationships to safeguard young people’s emotional wellbeing and development.
It's our very reason for existing. LOHA provides guidance and tools to assist.
As a parents and carer, if your child is struggling or withdrawn - you can do more.
