As a parent it’s so hard seeing your teenager struggle with their mental health. This instinct is to want to quickly take the pain away. You want to wrap up the young person in cotton wool and keep them safe, protect them from all the distress they are experiencing.
The young person feels no hope, they struggle to see a way forward for themselves. They feel so alone, they often feel shame and they worry about burdening you as their parent. In the same way, as a parent you also feel so alone, and often there is shame and guilt that you can’t do more to help your child.
We developed LOHA to support parents to help their teenagers with their mental health. Learning to deeply listen to your child talk about their feelings and thoughts and show empathy and understanding without being able to take the pain away, is a very profound experience. It will transform the relationship you have with your child. They will learn they can trust you and talk openly to you when they are struggling.
When your teenager is feeling in a lonely dark place, LOHA can help parents find the hope for their teenager when they cannot find it for themselves – even though it might only be small glimmers initially.
Hope can start very small, and it grows, although it might not be where you expect it. Hope might be about getting through the next few minutes, hours, days or lifetime. Learning to find the glimmers builds strength and helps young people adapt to whatever their circumstances.
There is no easy fix or quick results for psychological distress – healing takes time and can be unpredictable.
The young person who has a parent or carer walking by their side through their distress, who listens to their fears and challenges, and helps them process and understand their feelings and emotions and find the glimmers of hope, these are the young people who will recover. They are the teenager who will grow, will learn to get through the ups and downs of life, and will have healthy relationships with friends, romantic partners and their colleagues.
Seeing your child struggling with their mental health takes its toll on parents’ mental health, with feelings of loneliness, shame and guilt. However, LOHA is designed to provide the skills and insights for you to help your teenager, and watching them respond, helps your confidence as a parent.
The power of your teenager’s healing comes from the quality of the relationship they have with you.
